While I was in university, during my late teens and early twenties, I worked out almost every day at the gym doing at least 20 minutes of cardio, plus weights and a fitness class. I also went for a swim every Friday and did as many laps as I possibly could in a half hour. I was a lifeguard that taught water aerobics, and was on my feet during my shift, or swimming in the water.
I was active.
While I was in university, during my late teens and early twenties, I was fit and thin, and I didn't even know it.
Me at the peak of my fitness days in 2005
It's like the Joni Mitchell song "Big Yellow Taxi" says: "Don't it always seem to go / That you don't know what you got / 'Til it's gone."
That's me.
The entire time, I thought I was fat. I have thought I was fat since high school, and it wasn't until I got pregnant that I actually got fat -- 45lbs of fat. I ate boxes of cookies and tubs of ice cream within a few days, and never even noticed how fat I was getting. I mean, my body gained a lot of water during the last stage of pregnancy, and I lost 25lbs within a few months after giving birth, but those extra 20lbs have stuck with me through thick and, well, thick.
The last photo of me pregnant: 32 Weeks
I think what the saddest part for me is looking back at the photographs of myself in my peak fitness days knowing that I thought I was fat. I mean, I had the flattest belly that I have ever had, and I thought that I was fat. I know that you can't look at the past and wish for things that should have been, but I really wish that I hadn't been so hard on myself and realised what a great body I actually had.
I could slap myself. I really could.
But enough with the pouting. I am now doing something about it, and I want to share my journey with you. Today I will have completed my first week of keeping a food and exercise journal, and hopefully I will have lost one pound.
My fingers are crossed.
I know that I probably will never look like I did at the peak of my fitness ever again. It honestly doesn't seem that feasible, but I guess we'll find out in the coming weeks. I'll be sharing more of my plan and how I am doing with everything as the weeks pass.
Stay tuned!
Yahoo!! I gained a whopping 65lbs with my twins and lost 90 since their birth through a LOT of hard work, food tracking, and exercise. You can totally do it!! If I've learned anything, having people follow along with your journey and support you and keep you accountable goes a long way! If you ever need to talk, you know where to find me :)
ReplyDeleteThat's fantastic, Karis! Well done! Thank you for the support, and you can count on me finding you :)
DeleteGo girl! Know exactly where your coming from. And with the benefit of hindsight - I look at myself now...and try not to give myself too much of a hard time because in 20 years, looking back, I'll be thinking 'oh, I wish I looked like THAT now!'.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Cari-Jane! That's a good way of thinking about it: not to be too hard on yourself now, because no matter what, you'll always wish you looked the way you did when you were younger :)
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