The Pregnancy Wardrobe

I know that it was a long time ago that I was pregnant, but I've noticed a lot of people lately on blogs and Instagram sharing pregnancy photos and outfits where they say they're still wearing their pre-pregnancy clothes and using a belly-band despite being 39 weeks pregnant. I was not that fortunate, and I can imagine for some women that it is quite frustrating to find out that other people are still wearing the clothes they had before the baby belly while you are wearing your husband's t-shirt and sweats for your pyjamas.

While I had been pregnant during the winter months and didn't get to have fun wearing little summer dresses a lot of the time, I found a few essentials that I used during my pregnancy to share with you. I had a pair of maternity jeans that I loved, a few t-shirts, a couple of nice shirts, and I wore a lot of sweaters and other things from my pre-pregnancy wardrobe that didn't need to be done up over my belly. I also had fun with accessories like brooches and belts.

It can be hard to justify spending a few hundred dollars on a wardrobe that you are going to wear only once or twice for five or so months, but it is worth it to make yourself feel good about the changes that your body is going through and you only need to grab a few essentials and a couple of pieces that make you feel extra special -- because, let's face it, what you are doing with your body makes you a whole new kind of special.

Bird Top  -  Belt  -  Kimono  -  Jeans  -  White T-Shirt  -  Brooch

*this is not a pregnancy announcement :)

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At Peace

It took my husband and I about one year to get pregnant -- from the time we started to the time that we found out, it was almost exactly a year. Now, I know that there are people out there who have had to wait, or are waiting, a lot longer than a year to get pregnant, but it feels like forever when all you want is that little bean growing inside your belly, and it seems like everyone around you is getting the thing that you most desire.

I remember anxiously purchasing pregnancy tests and anticipating the answer -- which was always negative -- for the first few months, and then I entered several months of sadness. It wasn't until I sat down and told myself, and my husband, that if we were meant to have a child then we would, and if we weren't meant to have a child then I was okay with that. I knew that there were other ways to have children, and I was more than willing to open up my heart to a child that needed it if I was unable to do so with a child that my husband and I created -- although I know that a little piece of sadness would always be there in knowing I couldn't give birth.

It was after this peace that I made with myself that I got pregnant.

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A Journey Begins

My husband and I had been trying for a year before we got pregnant. In the beginning, I was very anxious, and as soon as it would get close to my time of the month, I would purchase a pregnancy test. Each month that it turned out negative, I would become more and more depressed as my acquaintances on Facebook would continually have exciting statuses about their pregnancies.

About a month before we got pregnant, I told my husband that I had come to terms with the fact that we might never have children, and that, if we were to have children of our own, it would happen in its own time. We kept busy during that summer. I went on a trip to Las Vegas with a good friend, we went to a few concerts, took a spa vacation, and even ran a 5K/10K.

 Running my very first 5K at 5 weeks pregnant, unknowingly :)

I had reached the point where I didn't want to take a pregnancy test after being a few days late for fear that I would find out that I was not pregnant, and the next day my monthly visitor would arrive. It had been six weeks since the last visit, the longest I had gone without one. My husband told me that maybe I should take a test.

It was a Saturday morning. I had to use the washroom at 6am, and they say that the first morning bathroom break is the best time to do a pregnancy test. I waited those two minutes, and started to cry -- out of happiness and excitement of course. I got back into bed and told my husband that we were going to have a baby. He was excited, but told me that maybe I should take another test -- just in case. It too was positive.

Well, we spent the entire day telling our family, and being congratulated -- this would be the first grandchild in both mine and my husband's families -- but I didn't post anything on Facebook. I remembered how hurt I was reading about everyone's pregnancies before I was pregnant, and I just didn't want to do that to anyone else.

Thus, my journey through pregnancy began -- my epic, uncomfortable, agonizing journey.

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Slowly, Slowly, very Slowly

This afternoon, I went for a walk with my son and the dog. It is such a beautiful day! The sun is shining, and it is nice and hot, but not so hot that you melt as soon as you step outside.

I am trying to work off the weight that I gained during pregnancy. It is slowly coming off through breastfeeding, and going for walks. But, it is really difficult seeing myself the size that I am. It is not fun trying to find clothes when the size that fits you best is double what you once were; looking in the mirror isn't as easy as it used to be.

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