Weight Update: A Reflection on the Past

May 07, 2022

As I have wandered the new leg of this path, I have looked back at the blog posts that I made during the beginning, and realised how toxic they are. I know that the world has started to change in how we talk about our bodies, and are trying to change in how we look at the bodies of others, but that does not negate the way that I talked about myself throughout my blog posts, and quite possibly made others feel while they were reading them. 

I apologize to anyone that felt lesser than, or bad about themselves while having to read about me complaining about being thin my entire life. This is not an apology related to anyone holding me accountable for anything that I have said or done; it's an apology related to what I have made myself aware of in the things that I have written, and the privilege that I have always had because of my body shape and size. It is not the kind of person that I want to be moving forward, and I vow to do better. I will be keeping the old posts up, though, as I don't like the feeling of erasing what I have said.

Somewhere along the path of my journey I started to care less about weight loss, and more about building a stronger body. As my weight increased, I had to come to terms with the fact that I was not going to weigh 125lbs ever again, and be a healthy person. Part of what has helped me is very rarely, stepping on the scale, and trusting what the fit of my clothes were telling me instead.

My goals at this point involve preparing my body for the aging process, and making sure that I am not doing things that are going to harm me in the long run. Physical Therapy has been an important part of my journey the past couple of years as I have learned how to adjust what I am doing based on when my body tells me there is a problem that needs to be fixed. 

I feel like I am the strongest I have ever been, and that helps make me feel really confident in myself. I don't know where the future will take this body of mine, but I hope that I can keep it going to be able to enjoy the special moments that occur throughout life.

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