Why We Should Move Beyond Just Saying "Good Job"

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It's quite common for parents, guardians, and other adults in the lives of children to want to cheer them on, especially when they are trying to tackle something that they haven't done before. What's even more common is the phrase that is used when congratulating a child for being successful: Good job!

There is nothing wrong with wanting to praise your child for stepping out of their comfort zone and doing something new, or for completing a project that they have been working on, but repeating two words over and over does not have the impact on our children that we think it might.

The truth is, we all need to hear that we are doing a good job, but it is more effective, and it feels better, when it's more specific. If a child I'm working with makes a tower, and is really proud of what they have done, I will make a comment on something specific related to the tower, and one to make them think about further possibilities: "It's so tall! How did you get all of the blocks to be that tall?" 

If a child has been working on a piece of artwork and shows it to me I will make a comment about a shape or colour and ask what they are working on so as not to assume I know what it is: "Oh wow! You added a lot of colours to your paper. Tell me about what you made."

Sometimes I don't make a comment at all, but will focus on the emotions of the child: "You seem really proud of the tower that you built. What are you going to do next?". If they ask me if I like their artwork, I will turn the question around and ask what they think about their own work, after which I will add my thoughts.

Really, the conversation is more about making general observations, especially about the effort that the child put into their work or activity, or how they are feeling about what they have done, rather than hollow praise for certain behaviours. 

These kinds of comments make no assumptions about what the child is doing, show them that I value them for more than what they have done, and that I'm genuinely paying attention to their actions. 

The ultimate goal is to get children to help people, complete a task, or try something new because they genuinely want to, not because they are going to be rewarded.

For more reading: Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job" by Alfie Kohn

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Inspired By Reggio Emilia: Part 2

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Since we have begun implementing the strategies and philosophies of Reggio Emilia in the classroom, my partner and I have started to undo some of the biases we were taught about how children learn, and how we as educators can cultivate a love of curiosity that will hopefully continue to grow. The following (which I have broken into two parts because it was getting to be too much text to go through) are some of the basics that I have taken away from my reading. Of course there is always more to learn!

View children as collaborators, not just telling them what to do and learn: This idea of children being their own teachers has been a game-changer for us. Instead of just telling the kids information, or deciding what we are going to learn based off of an old curriculum, we have started having the children answer their own questions and consider what they think the answer may be if they are unsure.

I have come to understand that preschoolers already have a lot of information about the world, but because they are often provided the answer by the adults in their lives they continue to look to us almost as if to confirm something that they already know: when my partner leaves for the day, someone might ask where she went and I respond with "Where do you think she went?" (don't read that with sarcasm) and they will come up with the response of "She went home for the day" or "She went to the bathroom". We confirm their answers, but encourage them to come up with their own ideas.

In most instances, the children are come up with some great responses to the questions that we ask them, or that they ask themselves and we prompt them to think about what the answer might be. We often do some probing if we are looking for a specific response beyond what they have already come up with, and we will provide our thoughts and ideas as well, but we want them to think about it first. 

I'm really enjoying this aspect of the approach because it is making the children more thoughtful in their responses, more inquisitive with their questions, but also comfortable with helping each other and working together to come up with ideas. We have explored some interesting topics, and they have shared some incredibly powerful thoughts that I never would have expected from people their age.

Documentation and collaboration work together to form the curriculum: Observing children as they play, and creating unbiased documentation makes the collaborative process that much easier. Through documentation you are able to understand what is important to the children at the moment, and what themes, ideas, and questions keep popping up.

At one point, my partner and I started to notice a lot of play surrounding death, so we asked the children what they knew about death. The responses that they came up with were incredibly beautiful and thoughtful. Children are aware of more than we think, and they are watching and understanding more than we realise. 

After our initial discussion about death, my partner and I were then able to source books from the local library to make it a part of our Circle Time, or morning meeting, with the children. Since then, we haven't noticed as much play around death, and when it does come up we can use some of the talking points we discussed during Circle Time.

Documentation can also be used as a way to communicate with families about what is taking place in the classroom. Sharing your findings can show parents and caregivers what the children are interested in, how they explore and use the space, and what they have been learning from their explorations.

This approach is less about sitting down and learning the alphabet, and more about expanding a child's curiosity and understanding of the letters and numbers that we see in everyday life. The way you set up the experiences and environment offers lots of opportunities for early literacy and math without sitting down and doing worksheets.

The environment should be ever evolving: One thing that really stood out to me while reading about the Reggio Emilia Approach this time is that you should be open to changing what is in the environment and how it is organized and arranged based on the group of children that you currently have. 

This is something that I have always unconsciously done after noticing that a space is not being used at all, or the way an area is being used has changed drastically, but now I am much more aware of it and how the power of observation can support learning. 

Documentation and collaboration can help a lot in this area as well. Once you know what the children are interested in and curious about, you can adapt the environment to reflect the areas of interest, adding items or taking away items, or even switching areas and making something completely new.

Inspired by Reggio Emilia: Part 1

Inspired by Reggio Emilia: Part 3

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Inspired by Reggio Emilia: Part I

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I heard the words "Reggio Emilia" for the first time many years ago from my first room partner. I knew that she wanted to "implement Reggio Emilia", but I had no clue what that meant as I had just started learning what it even meant to be an early childhood educator. 

She gave me a textbook to read through called Working in the Reggio Way: A Beginner's Guide for American Teachers by Julianne P. Wurm, but I didn't end up looking at it until several years later when I found it shoved on a shelf along with the textbook Authentic Childhood: Exploring Reggio Emilia in the Classroom by Susan Fraser and Carol Gestwicki.

I had already completed my schooling when I sat down to read through each textbook, but I still did not know what the words "Reggio Emilia" meant, and had only heard whispers from the folklore that follows them around in North America. 

I quickly learned that Reggio Emilia is, in fact, a city in Italy, and there is so much more to adopting the philosophies behind the program that has developed over nearly 80 years than simply switching out plastic toys for natural materials, making lovely presentations to encourage children to play, and taking photographs of what they are doing.

While there were aspects of it that intrigued me, like setting up the environment to be engaging enough to act as the third teacher, I still didn't quite understand everything that was involved; there were always little pieces that I understood, but I could never quite get them to fit together to make sense of the puzzle. 

As I've been going through everything again, I have started to realise that the work I have done on my journey to understand anti-racism and anti-hate has helped me to understand that putting myself aside (my beliefs about children, my own traumas, etc.) is a necessary piece of the puzzle.

Through this work that I have done -- and, believe me, am still learning -- it is easier for me to understand that seeing children as capable means so much more than helping them learn how to do up their own zipper, or clean up their spot at the table; it means that I see myself as a collaborator with them, not just the person that is telling them what to do; it means asking questions in a way that gets them to think a little bit deeper and come up with ideas and solutions themselves. 

It's been a slow process, and has taken a lot of learning and reflection, but, with the help of my room partner, we are starting to understand how we can put the philosophies of the Reggio Emilia approach into place in our classroom.

Inspired by Reggio Emilia: Part 2

Inspired by Reggio Emilia: Part 3

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Child Development: Why it's Okay for Children to Play on Their Own

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While playing with other children helps your child to develop incredibly important social/emotional skills like turn-taking and communicating with their peers, it's also perfectly fine for children to play on their own as it helps them to develop other social/emotional skills that they might not develop as strongly in a group setting. 

As an ECE, where it is my job to keep an eye on the children that I work with at all times (even when they think they are alone), one of the biggest things that I learned while on maternity leave with my son was that I didn't have to be near him every single second of the day. It was okay for me to sit an read and let him explore.

As he got older, I started to realise that I also didn't need to have every single part of his day scheduled with activities, and that it was perfectly fine for me to let him be on his own with his toys in his room, or for me to be doing my own activity while he was doing something else nearby. 

Not only can it be exhausting to put the expectation on yourself to fill every moment of your child's day so that they are never bored, but it also erases the moments of boredom that make it possible for your child to come up with ideas and activities themselves to get rid of that boredom themselves.

Playing alone helps your child to develop independent problem solving skills that they might not have had the opportunity to get if there is someone else beside constantly solving their problems for them (peer or adult). It also creates a situation where they have to make their own fun, to push their boundaries of creativity, and to figure out how to calm themselves when they are frustrated (self-soothing). A certain sense of pride and accomplishment follows inventing your own task or game and completing it, too! 

There's also nothing wrong with your child having some quiet time for themselves, especially if they've just completed an activity or task that required a lot of energy, or was a sensory over-load. Time to yourself is an excellent way to recharge your battery (and it gives parents time to recharge too!).

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The Importance of Rough & Tumble Play in Early Childhood

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One of the most difficult things for me to learn and come to terms with as an Early Childhood Educator was the concept of rough play, but one group of children that I worked with really enjoyed wrestling with each other, so, after attending a workshop about Embracing Risky Play in Childhood, instead of punishing the children for the behaviour, we decided to get on board with their rough and tumble play.

The first thing we did was sit the children down and talk about how we were going to allow them to wrestle outside: 

- We discussed where would be an appropriate place to wrestle, and they decided on the grass area

- We discussed how many people should wrestle together, and they decided that two was enough

- We also discussed what was not considered wrestling, and they thought choking and hitting the face was inappropriate

- We also talked about paying attention to each other's faces so we could know when we were not having fun anymore, and how if our bodies felt hot and angry then it was time to stop, or if our partner's face was no longer smiling then it was also an indication to stop. 

The children should be leaving their wrestling still as friends.

With these rules, that the children helped decide on, in place, we began letting them wrestle outside in our grassy area. We would remind them of the rules every time we went outside, and an educator was always nearby when the wrestling began, noting when there were too many wrestling together, or if the wrestling was getting too aggressive, or mean spirited, and their bodies were saying it was time to be done. As always, they caught on quickly, and, by the end of that summer, they were getting really good at remembering the rules and recognizing when it was time to be done.

It wasn't easy. While my partner and I were fully giving ourselves to the idea, we had to let other educators in the centre know what was going on so that they would understand that the wrestling and rough and tumble play was allowed, and being watched closely. It takes a lot to push yourself through the discomfort of leaving a specific way of teaching behind, but it really changed how we approached the situation, and made it less of a source of frustration for us educators, and the children.

Why is rough and tumble play an important part of early childhood development? Based on some of the rules that we devised with the children, you can see that it helps them understand their emotions and how to regulate their bodies, as well as understand when they are getting angry and need a break. It also helps them to recognise and understand emotions in other people: I can see my friend is no longer having fun so it is time to stop. It also helps them develop resilience, and gives them the opportunity to use their larger muscles and get more energy out of their bodies.

*It is important to note that rough and tumble play is not just for boy, there are plenty of little girls that enjoy wrestling and playing other rough and tumble games!

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The Importance of Letting Children Complete Tasks on Their Own

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Think about all of the things that you can do without thinking about them. Chances are that you've got a pretty long list of things you are capable of doing without even really thinking about what you need to do to complete those tasks. They can be anything from zipping your zipper (and what to do when it gets caught), to how to scrape the food you didn't eat off your plate and put it in the sink or dishwasher.

Now think about all of the steps that you have to take in order to complete a single task on your list. Let's take a look at putting on a sock: you know that your sock has to be turned a certain way so that the heel ends up in the same spot as the heel on your foot; you know that you have to open up the sock and put your foot in the hole at the top, pushing your foot in while pulling at the top of the sock at the same time. What happens if the sock gets twisted, or your toes end up getting stuck? You know that you have to adjust the sock, and maybe even take it off.

There are actually quite a few steps involved in being able to put on your sock, but you do it without even thinking about it. You are not born knowing skills that seem like simple tasks, they require time and attention, and, within a week or two of trying, children even as young as two (2) are pretty capable of completing these tasks, like putting on their shoes, pulling up pants, or scraping a plate of food, when given the opportunity to try, and it makes them feel so proud when they complete them.

Often, when it comes to learning, these types of tasks are overlooked. There are many reasons, be it that caregivers just do not have the time to wait for their child to attempt to put on their pants so they just do it for them, or learning the alphabet or how to write your name before entering school is seen as more important. What a lot of people do not realise is that these tasks are just as important for children to learn, if not more. The tasks we do every day that we do not think much about require fine motor skills, gross motor skills, and problem solving skills, just to name a few. Not to mention what it does for self esteem. How good do you feel when you complete a task that seems next to impossible when you first try? Pretty darn good!

A lot of schools have begun asking caregivers to make sure that their new students are capable of a lot of self-help skills before even starting Kindergarten. When a child enters school, it is imperative that they are capable of putting on their winter gear before heading outside for recess as teachers are not able to get all of the children ready within the small window of time that is recess. That doesn't mean that if they are struggling that help won't be offered, but the help that is offered is minimal and will eventually no longer be needed as the child is able to complete the task.

So what can we do to help our children learn to complete tasks on their own? 

If your child is beginning a new task that they have never done before, make sure you give them enough time to complete it. If they are working on zipping up their coat but they only get to do it when leaving the house, then you are more likely to take over when they are taking too long. Work on it at a time when you're not needing to leave the house, and provide toys and dress-up clothes that have zippers, buttons, snaps, etc. on them.

You can also make a game out of it. If the task your child is working on is learning how to clean up their room, set a timer to see how quickly they can do it, or sing a special song while helping them learn how to organize their toys.

There is nothing quite like completing a task and the feeling of pride and accomplishment that comes with it, even as adults. Children get so excited when they are able to zip their zipper by themselves, or put on their shoes, or pull up their pants. They are so capable of it, and just need our time and patience to walk them through the steps that we already know without thinking about it.

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Child Development: Providing A Script

Earlier this year, I wrote a post talking about the importance of teachable moments: what they are, and why they become increasingly necessary as your child gets older. In the post, I mentioned the idea of giving your child the words that they need to help them through a difficult situation, and I want to dig a little deeper into that.

Giving your child words does not mean that you are telling them what to think or feel, it means that you are providing them with a script (like in a play) that they need to help them express their emotions, and what they need. When a child does not have a certain skill, sometimes you need to teach them by breaking down the steps and providing them with opportunities to learn to do the skill on their own. This is called scaffolding, and it is a really useful way to help young children to be able to develop all kinds of skills (physical, social emotional, etc.). 

All children are capable of learning skills that we may believe are too difficult for them (even toddlers can learn to put on their shoes), sometimes they just need the steps to be broken down for them. It may take a while, or they may catch on quickly...it all depends on the skill, how it is being approached, and what your child does with the information.

Imagine your child has just been hit by another child at the park, and your child hits the other child back. You might tell your child to "use your words", but that phrase means nothing to a child that has not been taught what words to use. 

By getting close to your child (down to their level is even better), and giving them a script to use such as "Please don't hit me" or "Stop hitting me", you are giving them the words that they will need so that eventually you will be able to tell them "use your words" and they will know exactly what to say in response. Most likely, this will need to be done in every situation until your child has enough responses in their arsenal that they will be able to respond to any child in any situation. 

Think of how a building is put together. Is the top of the building put on first, or is the foundation laid, and then the other parts of the building are slowly added on top. Eventually, you won't even have to tell your child to "use your words" because they will know exactly what to do when a situation arises.

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Open Ended Toys: Wood

Nothing opens the imagination up to all kinds of possibilities quite like open-ended toys. Open-ended toys provide endless opportunities for learning such as science and math, social interactions (social-emotional), and creativity, and include items like blocks of all shapes and sizes, animals and trees, and cameras. They are toys that don't have a single purpose like many battery operated toys, or even things like puzzles and colouring books, and require imagination while using them (let's be honest, your mind's eye has to tell you what your wooden camera just took a photo of). 

As the amount of items I found for this post continued to increase, I realised that I would need two blog posts to share the amazing open-ended items I found from my fellow makers. Here are some wooden open-ended toys that would be perfect for exercising the imagination! You can find the felt and fabric ones here.

Wooden Camera from Sweet Child of Pine

Wood Hobby Horse from Hill Country Woodcraft

Red Fox Wooden Toy from Atelier Saint Cerf

The Game of Gnomes in Pots from Wood and Care

Wooden Telescope from Little Rose and Co

Wood Balancing Game from Des Enfantillages

Wooden Shapes from Creations Catelina

Wooden Trees from The Ridge Workshop

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Open Ended Toys: Felt and Fabric

Nothing opens the imagination up to all kinds of possibilities quite like open-ended toys. Open-ended toys provide endless opportunities for learning such as science and math, social interactions (social-emotional), and creativity, and include items like puppets, dolls, and items for dress-up...toys that don't have a single purpose like many battery operated toys, or even things like puzzles and colouring books. 

As the amount of items I found for this post continued to increase, I realised that I would need two blog posts to share the amazing open-ended items I found from my fellow makers. Here are some felt and fabric open-ended toys that would be perfect for exercising the imagination! You can find the wooden open-ended toys here.

Felt Campfire from Domestic Objects

Felt Finger Puppets from Cheryl Smith

Waldorf Baby Gnome Toy from La Fiaba Russa

Lambswool Fox Tail from Collette Bream

Fabric Crown from Rokka Design

Wooden Slingshot with Felt Balls from Handcrafted Buffalo

Felt Forest Fairy Play Set from Stitched By Dana G

Felt Beard from Sew Me Up

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Talking about Racism with Children: Four Good Books to Start the Discussion

Don't Touch My Hair by Sharee Miller

Just over a year ago, my partner at work and I realised that we needed to do some teaching about our differences, especially skin colour, and talk about how we don't treat people differently based on the fact that they look different from ourselves. 

I went crazy in the book store trying to find books that were age appropriate (for 4-5 year-olds) that mentioned differences and made them into a positive thing. We wanted the books to spark a conversation so we could talk about the colours of our skin and teach the children that it is not okay to exclude people simply because of their skin colour.

The books that I found were We're Different, We're The Same and Happy in Our Skin. In the year and a half that I first purchased them, I have revisited them many times as we've had to circle back to this discussion time and again (it will never go away). 

Since then, I have been able to find more books at the library, including Don't Touch My Hair (a fantastic book about respecting people's bodies) and She Persisted (while not about race specifically, there are African American women mentioned in the book that started a discussion about slavery and race with my son).

**Please do not think that children do not see colour, because colour is exactly what they see. Their minds have the need to categorize things at this age, and unless we teach them that the categories they have created are incorrrect, they will stay that way. 

These four books have created a discussion both with my preschoolers and with my son at home. I highly recommend them if you are looking for books to start the discussion with your own little ones. However, this is an incredibly small list, and could use some improvement. 

Social Justice Books is an incredible resource that provides more than 60 carefully curated lists of multicultural and social justice books for children, young adults and educators. I learned about them from Beverly Daniel Tatum, Ph.D on the Sesame Street/CNN racism town hall.

We're Different, We're The Same by Bobbi Kates and Joe Mathieu

She Persisted by Chelsea Clinton and Alexandra Boiger

Happy in Our Skin by Fran Manushkin and Lauren Tobia

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Thoughts: Kindness at Home

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I've had these thoughts spinning around in my head for the past few days about how we spend the first few years of our children's lives keeping them hidden from the world, protecting them from all of the things that hurt us as children or continue to hurt us as adults, but we eventually reach a point where we have to send them out into the world and realise that there is nothing that we can do to stop people from hurting them. They are no longer in our protective bubbles, and aside from talking to teachers, etc, there are not many other options, making you feel so helpless.

But let me tell you, I've started to recognise that how I treat my child and what I do in my home matters during all of those school years where my son is trying to find his footing in the world. If I mock my child, or belittle my child, I am not setting him up for success, I am showing him that I am just as volatile as the world around him. I am no longer a safe place, and I am only making him feel even more alone. 

We may think that we are toughening our children up, getting them ready for the world out there, but of all the people in our children's lives, we should be the people that consistently show them kindness and lift them up, so that they know that home is a soft place to land at the end of a very long day.

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Child Development: The Importance of Teachable Moments

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Teachable Moments are key instances throughout the life of your child when important social emotional concepts (see the five categories of social emotional learning) can be taught to your child. The trick is that they must be taught at that very moment, as waiting to talk about it until later loses the connection to the situation. 

It's important to understand that children live in the moment, in the now. If you wait to talk, your child's memory of the moment is less clear, and they aren't able to see how the lecture you're giving them relates to something that happened two hours ago that they've clearly already moved on from.

Let's say your child hits another child while at the park. You don't say anything about it until you get home about an hour later after your child has played in the sand, gone down the slide at least 30 times, you have pushed your child on the swing twice, and splashed in the puddles on the way home. Once home, your child has eaten a snack, and the two of you are now playing a game when you remember and you start talking about that time your child hit someone at the park. Your child has lived through multiple other moments since they hit the child and they are not going to be able to recall the moment  at the park properly.

As awkward as it may feel, use that moment right after your child has hit the other child to sit/squat/kneel at your child's level to talk them through what they have just done and why it's important to act differently next time, or not engage in the behaviour at all. If your child hits another child because a toy was taken away from them, take this opportunity to give them the words ("Hey! Give me back my toy!") to use next time instead of their hands. If your child randomly hits another child, use the moment to talk to them about how our hands are not for hitting, that hitting hurts, and give some examples of what they could do with their hands instead (build a sand castle, throw a ball, etc).

As your child gets older, the teachable moments you may be working with will become more complex. While a two-year-old might hit, bite, or take toys, a five-year-old might be telling another child that they are ugly or that they are going to go to their friend's house and hurt their friend's family. Where your child gets these ideas from is not important in the moment, what is important is that you step in and talk to them about empathy and what it means to be kind and care for others, and consider what it would feel like if someone said those things to them. Take the Teachable Moment by the hand and lead your child in the direction you would like them to go. You an dive into where the comments come from later on, or address it during the Teachable Moment.

If your child's behaviour reaches a point where you feel that you cannot properly help your child through it, do not hesitate to ask someone for support (including a mental health professional). As children get older and the social emotional moments that they encounter get increasingly more complicated, it can be difficult to figure out what to do to support them. There is no shame in asking for help.

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Five Early Building Blocks to Encourage Empathy in Young Children

Emotion Art

Empathy is an important way that we connect with others, but it is not something that can be learned as a new habit in 21 days. Empathy grows over time through multiple levels of development, and can begin as early as the first few years of life (0-5). The earlier we work on the building blocks of empathy with our children, the sooner they will be able to comprehend emotions and the way they function in society.

Encouraging empathy helps develop a greater understanding for future relationships (with friends and family, but also with the people in our neighbourhoods), and helps us learn our larger role in society as a whole. Everything that is taught in early childhood is to help make the next steps that much easier: children playing with blocks is a step towards math; understanding which way to hold a book is a step towards reading; learning about our emotions and the emotions of others is a step towards developing meaningful relationships in every aspect of life.

Here are five early building blocks to encourage empathy in young children that I use not only at work with preschool children, but also with my son:

1. Begin recognizing simple emotions from an early age. As soon as your baby beings to express excitement, frustration, sadness, and fear, start labeling them. If your baby looks like they are happy to see you say something like "Are you happy to see me?" and if something startles them say something like "Did that scare/startle you?" 

Being aware of feelings, knowing which feelings are which, and how to label them is an important building block for your child to be able to recognize their feelings as well as the feelings of others.

As your child gets older, you can start to introduce more complicated emotions, but in the beginning, it's easier to stick with four basic labels of happy, frustrated (not mad or angry), sad, and scared. 

Why not mad or angry? In most cases, anyone that seems angry or mad is usually upset by something that has frustrated them. There is nothing wrong with being mad or angry in any way, but the word "frustrated" is an all encompassing umbrella that fits any situation of upset better than mad or angry can.

2. Read books about different emotions. There are so many amazing books out there on the subject of emotion. If you aren't able to purchase books, there is a vast selection in your local library, and your librarian will be more than happy to help you find them.

A few of my personal favourites are I'm Happy Sad Today by Lori Britain and Matthew Rivera, The Way I Feel by Janan Cain, Have You Filled a Bucket Today by Carol McCloud and David Messing, and The Feelings Book by Todd Parr.

Books have a powerful way of teaching your children, especially when it comes to emotions. It is easier to connect with books and understand the emotions through the stories that are told, especially when they are silly.

3. Point out the emotions of characters in books and on television. While reading a book (any book...not necessarily a book about emotions) with your child, make a point to discuss what is happening in the story, specifically in relation to emotions. If one of the characters looks sad because someone took their ball away say something like "She looks really sad because someone took her ball away." 

As your child gets older, you could say "She looks really sad. I wonder why. What do you think?" to prompt a response from your child as to why they think the character looks sad. This approach is known as scaffolding, as you are supporting your child through their learning until they are able to complete a skill on their own.

You can also use these quiet moments to discuss how your child's body might feel when they are feeling specific emotions. What does your body feel like when you are frustrated? Sad? Happy? It is important for your child to know how emotion can change the way your body feels inside and outside. Good books about emotions will also go into some detail about the feelings inside your body as well.

4. Recognize the emotions that you are feeling and share them with your child. If you are frustrated, let them know by saying "I am frustrated about _____ ." If you are happy about something share what is making you happy: "I am so happy that we got to go outside today." You can even get your child to look at your face to see the expressions on it and how they change.

It is important for your child to understand that they are not alone when it comes to feeling emotion (especially frustration and sadness), and how they can recognize when people are feeling those emotions by looking at their faces or their bodies.

5. When your child behaves in a way towards someone else that you deem inappropriate, take the time to point out the emotions of the other person, as well as ask your child how they would feel if someone did the same thing to them. Building on to the scaffolding of the emotional education of your child, the next step is being able to recognize the emotions in the people that your child interacts with.

Because you have shown your child what emotions look like through the books you have read to them, as well as through sharing your own emotions, you child should be able to begin to recognize the emotions in others and how they might feel if they were in the same situation.

Get close to your child and ask them to look at the face of the other person, getting them to figure out what the person might be feeling by recognizing the emotion on their face. Then ask your child how they might be feeling if ____ happened to them. This simple moment is an important building block to encourage empathy in your child.

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What is an Early Childhood Educator?

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An Early Childhood Educator (ECE) works with children during their earliest years, usually between the ages of 0-6. An ECE can be found in several settings, including early learning centres, preschools, Kindergartens and into the first few grades of school, and has received either a university degree in education, or a college diploma (a 2-year program) with an emphasis on child guidance and planning/implementing age appropriate programming. 

The main goal of an Early Childhood Educator is to guide the development of children during their first few years of life and typically follows a holistic approach, meaning they help grow a child's intellectual, emotional, social, physical, creative and spiritual potentials.

As an ECE continues to work, there are many opportunities for growth and development. A quality educator will take part in educational experiences through conferences and courses, and read books to learn more about the changes in early childhood education and development, as well as any approaches they may be interested in working with (read more about the different approaches here). 

An Early Childhood Educator should always be wanting to develop a deeper understanding of what it means to work with children, and how to continue to enrich the child's environment and their development, as well as work with families to make sure they are all working towards the same goals. They understand what goals are developmentally appropriate for each child (as individuals, as an ECE knows that each child learns differently), and set proper limits and expectations to help a child achieve those goals.

ECEs are so much more than a glorified babysitter. Besides taking care of the basic needs of your child, they understand that child development involves knowledge about how to observe each individual child so that programs may be tailored specifically for a group of children, and not just provide blanketed themes like Winter and Fall. 

They also know how important it is to learn about what you value at home and in the community so that it can be applied at the early learning centre your child is attending. As well, they understand that knowledge about child development is crucial in providing quality care because it is how an ECE knows when your child needs their hearing tested for delays in speaking, or needs some extra support to help them reach the same level of development as their peers (while completely aware that your child may never reach that level, but being compassionate and doing everything they can to help anyway).

An Early Childhood Educator is a teacher that helps children question the world around them and come up with their own answers. They are a source of comfort away from home, a social/emotional guide, and so much more!

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Selecting a Child Care Provider: Trust Your Gut

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I was recently asked if I had any advice on what to look for when visiting an early learning centre or day home. I told the parent to trust their gut. If something feels off, it probably is, even if you aren't able to put your finger on it.

My biggest piece of advice, after doing all of the research, making visits, and asking questions is that you don't go with a child care provider you aren't quite comfortable with just because it's closer to your work or your child's school, or because the cost is cheaper for you, or because your child has a friend that goes there, too. None of these are benefits when it comes to finding someone to look after your child. Absolutely none.

If you feel uncomfortable with leaving your child with a child care provider, and do so anyway because of one of these reasons, you are going to continue to feel uncomfortable and anxious. It is best to find someone you trust and have to pay a little more, or have to drive a little farther, because nothing is more important than the safety of your child.

If something doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't. Don't feel bad about it either. Everyone has different feelings, and although some people might not have a problem with the same place that you are considering leaving your child, it doesn't mean that you won't. We all have different values and expectations, and you should find a child care provider that mirrors that. It doesn't mean that the places you are considering are filled with awful people or are a dirty environment (though you might encounter some of those), it just means that the provider that you are considering isn't the right fit for you. And that's okay!

For more information, check out these posts as well:

7 Questions to Ask Staff When Selecting a Child Care Provider

5 Questions to Ask Yourself When Selecting a Child Care Provider

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5 Questions to Ask Yourself When Selecting a Child Care Provider

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After you've had a tour of a day home or early learning centre that you are considering sending your child(ren) to, it's a good idea to sit down and reflect on how the staff answered your questions and to also think about what you noticed while you were touring. Here are five questions to ask yourself when selecting a child care provider:

1. Are the staff happy? It is incredibly important to pay attention to the staff at the day home or early learning centre where you are looking to send your child(ren). Look at the kinds of engagements that they have with the children, and with each other. Have they been yelling the entire time you've been there -- keep in mind that Early Childhood Educators are not robots and do get frustrated -- or have they been reading stories, singing songs, doing science experiments, etc. to engage the children and help them learn. Remember the questions about programming and the level of education of the staff, and keep that in mind when doing your reflection. Happy staff do get frustrated, but the majority of their interactions should be positive, and that's definitely a good indication of a good environment for children to grow and learn.

2. Are the kids happy? Generally if the staff is happy then you will find that the children are also happy. Sometimes there are situations where a child does not get what they want and they get upset, but if they are getting what they need -- good food, good relationships with staff and peers, and a stimulating environment -- then they will most likely be happy and have positive interactions with the staff and the other children.

3. What do the rooms look like: cleanliness, toys, arrangement? Make sure you take a look around the rooms that your child will be using during the time that they will be at the day home or early learning centre. Pay attention to the areas that are available for the children to play in and if it seems to flow well, or if the children are running about like crazy with no sense of where to go. Most places encourage staff to take care of the children first, and look after everything else later, but look and see if the room is tidy, toys are not broken and in their proper places, tables are wiped down after meals, chairs are tucked in or stacked, and the shelves are generally clean.

4. What does the outdoor area look like? Some day homes and early learning centres are quite fortunate and have very large outdoor spaces, or at least a park near by. Take a look around to see if there are a variety of areas to play in. Is there sand, grass, asphalt or cement? Also look at the play equipment to ensure that it is safe for use, and check out the outside toys that are available.

5. How transparent are they in providing what they do, and how they answer questions? This can relate back to the question about the happiness of the staff, but obviously if the staff are quite rude and unwilling -- or unable -- to answer any questions that you may have then it's a good indication of a lack of administration and a poorly run environment. You are the parents, and they should be willing to talk to you about any concerns that you may have. At most day homes and early learning centres the family is the most important element, and must be respected above all else.

For more information, check out these posts as well:
7 Questions to Ask Staff When Selecting a Child Care Provider
Selecting a Child Care Provider: Trust Your Gut

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7 Questions To Ask Staff When Selecting A Child Care Provider

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It can be difficult to finally sit down and figure out who you want to look after your child(ren) as you prepare to go back to work, or if you work from home. The following are a few questions to ask beyond the typical question of how much it will cost. Finding the right child care provider for your child can seem like a daunting task, especially for new parents. Ask these questions -- and any others you may think of -- and take some time to really reflect on the answers before you dive in just because you desperately need to find something.

1. Is it licensed? There are many benefits to attending a day home or early learning centre that is licensed. The first is that it is given it's license by the government so there are certain standards that are set and must be achieved. Day homes and early learning centres are regularly visited by people that uphold the standards set forth by the government and their license can be revoked if the standards are not met. Different governments have different standards and scales of rating so you may have to visit your government website to find out what they are. Another benefit is that if you do not have the means to pay for the care entirely by yourself -- as a single parent, or low income parent -- you can get a portion of your childcare subsidized. This is not something that is available in an unlicensed day home or early learning centre.

2. Is there regular programming? Do the children sit in front of the television all day, or is there a set schedule of play time and activities for them to take part in. Different day homes and centres may have different approaches that they may follow. Some might take the Montessori method, while others follow Reggio Emilia, or have a Play-Based learning program. Do the research and select a child care provider that uses the approach that you most want your child to take part in.

3. Do they have field trips? Do the children have the opportunity to leave the day home or early learning centre to explore the world around them. It could be a simple trip to the spray park to play and have a picnic, or to make a trip to the children's museum or art gallery. If it is important to you that your child get out and explore the world around them, make sure that they attend a day home or centre that doesn't stay in their building all day.

4. What kind of meals do they provide? Everyone wants their child to eat healthy -- even if we don't always to a good job of it ourselves. So make sure to find out if they are eating macaroni and cheese every day, or if they are getting a variety of foods and all four food groups are being covered.

5. What kind of education does the staff have? A lot of early learning centres are required to have a certain number of staff that have their Early Childhood Education Diploma -- this goes back to licensing. Early Childhood Education is important because it teaches the people that will be working with your children how to implement the regular programming, follow licensing procedures, ensure the children are eating healthy and well-balanced meals, as well as many other important subjects. Find out how many staff at the early learning centre you are looking actually have their Early Childhood Education, and be wary if it's less than two or three -- depending on the size of the centre, it may be less or more. If you are looking at taking your child to a day home there are plenty of people who have decided to open their own home after graduating from the ECE program, or that have taken other child-related education -- there are also plenty of day homes that are owned by caring people that do not have the education, but still have a well run place.

6. Do they have a parent handbook? What kind of information do they have available to parents that are just starting at the day home or early learning centre? They should be providing you with a package of information that includes a contract, permission forms for sunscreen/bug spray and field trips, information that relates to licensing, etc. A well written parent handbook should provide you will all of the necessary information you should need to know while your child is attending the day home or early learning centre. Again, this goes back to regulations in licensing, but if you are looking at an unlicensed day home or child care centre at least find one that requires you to sign a well-written contract.

7. What is the policy for when your child gets sick or hurt? Find out what the expectations are of staff if your child comes down with a fever. What temperature and symptoms do they need to have in order for them to be sent home? Obviously if they have a cough and some sniffles they will not be expected to go home, but find out for sure what the policy is. The same goes for if your child gets hurt. Some centres write the information down on a minor injury report so that parents can find out what happened to their child and why he/she might have a bruise or a scratch on him/her. It would not be expected that you take your child home, but there might be an injury where they might call you to inform you that something a little more serious has happened. It's a good idea to ask what they might do an any situation. This also goes back to licensing, and it is highly recommend that you ask this question if considering an unlicensed child care provider.

For more information, check out these posts as well:

5 Questions To Ask Yourself When Selecting A Child Care Provider

Selecting a Child Care Provider: Trust Your Gut

 

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