March 14, 2013

Show Some Confidence: Enjoying the Epiphany

I am so excited to share the thoughts of Sarah from the blog Enjoying the Epiphany today. I first approached Sarah after reading this blog post that she wrote at the beginning of February. She is such a strong and confident woman, and exactly what I am looking for in a person to guest post for the Show Some Confidence Series. So dive in as Sarah convinces you to Strip Down and Look In The Mirror


"If I were thinner, I'd wear a bikini to the beach."

"If I were as pretty as her, I'd get hit on too."

"If I were skinny, maybe somebody would want me."

"If I looked the way I did in high school, maybe my husband would pay more attention to me."


I am so saddened when I hear women say things like this;  women around the world sell themselves short every day.  We compare ourselves to each other, covet the bodies of airbrushed reality stars, and view the size zero bodies of super models in fashion magazines as perfect bodies.  We fill our minds with self hate and practice deprivation in order to achieve unattainable social expectations.

In the meantime we are ruining perfectly happy relationships with lovers, family members, and most importantly... ourselves.

The average television/movie star wears a size 2-4 and weighs approximately 110 pounds and fashion designers create their samples in a size 2.  The average American woman wears a size 12-14 and weighs about 150 pounds which, according to Self Magazine is considered obese.  Is it really any wonder why the average age for women to become anorexic and/or bulimic is 13?

We need to make a conscious decision to love ourselves.  Period.

No woman- any size, any shape, any religion, race, or sexual orientation, any where will EVER find love with a partner until she truly learns to love herself.  She may find a superficial love or a flawed love but an everlasting, unconditional love will not be achieved until she feels worthy of these relationships and has one with herself. 

Put the shoe on the other foot ladies.  How attractive would it be if your lover was constantly degrading and insulting his/her self?  How redundant and exhausting would it be if you were always having to affirm your partner that he/she is attractive?  How long would the relationship continue or remain a healthy and happy one?

We need to take a stand against our self hate!



In order to fall in love with yourself you have to first accept yourself as you are.  You need to accept whatever it is that you may consider a 'flaw' and learn to think positively about it.  I do not advocate changing who you are;  I advocate making yourself happy.  If you do not love something about yourself, teach yourself to love it by looking at it in a different way.  If you are consistently insulting yourself or attempting to achieve the 'norm' that society has set, you will never achieve true happiness and you will never be able to grow into a confident, self loving woman.  In order to love yourself you must first accept yourself.

I love myself and I have accepted myself- everything about myself.  I love my body, I love my curves, I love my intellect, I love my creativity, I love me.  I am a happy, healthy size 18.  I say healthy because that is exactly what I am.   


health·y 
/ˈhelTHē/ 

1. In good health: "feeling fit and healthy".
2. (of a part of the body) Not diseased.

Synonyms
sound - wholesome - salubrious - healthful - well - hale


Nowhere in that definition does it say:  skinny, thin, small, 110 pounds, or size 0.  Nowhere.  You see ladies, you can be healthy without wearing a single digit size in your jeans.  You can be healthy if you feel fit and healthy.  (The definition says so!)

Give yourself daily affirmations of positivity and love.  Guurrrl, you deserve it!

Wanna know how I did it?  I looked at myself in the mirror- naked, in all my dimpled glory.  Yup, that's exactly what I did.  I marched right into the bathroom, locked the door, stripped down, and stared at myself. 

I looked at my face first.  I stared deep into these eyes and thought, "What a pretty color.  Not quite brown, not quite gold, specs of green.  I like 'em."  I looked at my nose and thought, "How cute.  Just the right size for my face."  Then came my skin, "Pale porcelain... very roaring 20's."

Thus began my love affair with my face.

Then came my breasts and stomach.  I've always been a fan of my breasts, I'm not gonna lie.  They're rather large and quite perky for 'bigguns' so loving them wasn't difficult!  My stomach wasn't as easy to conquer.  You see, I have a lovely "mama apron."  The women in my family have always nicknamed the soft, hanging skin we gained after having children the "mama apron."  Even with the cute nickname, I've always loathed the damn thing... until I learned to accept it for what it is.  This extra skin filled with fluff (you like that, don't ya?) protected three of the best things that this world has ever seen... my boys.  This apron is covered in soft lavender stripes and is silky to the touch and if I close my eyes, I can run my hands over it and remember when I felt the kicking of a baby boy inside of it.  I can remember when the doctor laid the three most precious blessings on this "mama apron" and I heard the tiny cries of miracles.  Miracles that were held inside this fluffy cloud of skin.  I will never again hate this stomach and I will never again wish it away.

I am now in love with my stomach.

Then came my thighs.  I've always cursed my thighs because they are large and touch together creating the infamous 'chub rub.'  So I stood there, staring and staring and staring at those thighs.  They're kinda cute ya know... all soft and dimply and carefully touching together.  Then I realized, they are the protectors of the throne, the armed guards to the Queen, and the regulators of Mount Sarah!  You see, nobody's gettin' access to the Queen unless those thighs allow it.  They are my own private security system! 

Ha!  I love these thighs.

We won't even discuss the Queen... I mean, who doesn't love their vagina?

You see, I stared and stared and figured out that I love my body just the way it is.  There is no need to change anything about myself... I am happy.  I am happy within myself and I am happy with how I look.  Want proof?  Look at this definition...

hap·py
/ˈhapē/

Adjective
Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. Having a sense of confidence in or satisfaction with (a person, arrangement, or situation).

Synonyms
glad - fortunate - joyful - lucky - merry - cheerful


To Love Oneself Is The Begining Of A Lifelong Romance.



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